Camping weekend

We just returned from what is probably my favorite weekend of the entire summer… our family camping weekend. We gather up most of our family on my husbands side, we head to our favorite campground, and we enjoy the entire weekend with eachother!  This year there was close to 30 of us and we enjoyed potato sack races, volleyball, hayrides, silly stories, and lots of smores! Yummy!! And let me tell you what… My husbands family is a family that KNOWS how to have fun. With them the party never stops- and I absolutely love it!

For me time spent with family is the most important and most rewarding time for my children- and ME!  I knew from a very young age family was an incredibly important thing to me.

A family who spends time together. A family who is silly together.           A family who laughs together.           A family who above all else loves eachother really, really well. 

I remember my childhood very, very clearly and I remember all the years spent as a little girl in a less than normal childhood wishing, hoping, and praying for something more for my children. For something different. For substance. For something real and genuine. It’s happening. It’s here. This is my life. And I feel so incredibly lucky that I get to live this with these people!! People who care, and laugh, and hug, and tell and show one another that they love them and will do anything for one another. People who put the needs of others above themselves.

And I am so gosh darn thankful that my children will never know a childhood like mine. I am so thankful that my children have amazing relationships with their aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins! I am so thankful that my children’s lives have more love and affection than they know what to do with and that makes my heart overflow with pure joy! As one of my FAVORITE IG’ers says #mycupberunningover

   
    
    
 

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Massage Envy

Disclaimer: this is a sponsored post but as always, all opinions are my own.
A few weeks back I made a promise to myself to take care of me.To put my needs first. To maintain my health and well being. Last week I did just that by getting a massage at our local Massage Envy!!

From the moment I walked in the door I felt relaxation come over my body. I was greeted by a very informative and friendly front desk girl, Amanda, who asked me a bunch of questions in order to customize my massage to my individual needs. A customized massage was exactly what this momma needed! 
Once we completed the paperwork I was left to unwind and relax in their tranquility room. This room is amazing- complete with dim lighting, a crackling gas fireplace, and super comfy seating. The masseuse practically had to wake me from a deep sleep when she came to get me! 

My masseuse’s name was Betsy and she was exactly what I had requested and love in a great masseuse. She made sure to answer all of my questions, and asked what I was looking to get out of that days massage. The open communication they keep with you really is the best!! 

When you get a massage there are a few really fun, and in my opinion necessary, enhancement options you can add on to your massage. My thought is that you are already there and ready to be pampered, why not just go for that little extra that will really make your massage over the top amazing!! I opted for the Anxiety Release Aromatherapy Enhancement. Again- exactly what I needed! Just as I laid back on my nice, warm, and comfy bed {I mean massage table} Betsy came in with my Aromatherapy lotion she had mixed up! The Anxiety Aromatherapy release eases nervousness, irritability and apprehension. {YES please!!} This relaxing blend promotes a sense of inner peace and harmony while easing nervousness, irritability, and apprehension. Known for their calming properties, lavender, chamomile and vetiver are combined with uplifting aromas of citrus and clary sage. The result of this AromaTherapy technique? Pure tranquility. There was even leftover lotion that Betsy allowed me to take home with me and I have been using it intermittently throughout my days to relax and calm myself!

What I loved most was the flexibility and convenience Massage Envy offered. I called Monday night and was able to make an appointment for the following night at 6pm. I went straight from work to my massage. As a busy mom of three I am all about convenience, and Massage Envy made it VERY easy right from the start! The facility was nice, clean, and my masseuse was excellent as well! 

   
    
 

My Current Season of Life

I am in a season of needing to take care of myself. And that is okay. It doesn’t mean I’ve failed. It doesn’t mean I’m useless. It doesn’t mean I get an “F” in motherhood. It does mean that I am exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally. I need to reset. To recharge. To rest. I need to restore my body and make it whole. And when I do I will be able to come back stronger than before.

I’ve made a new goal for myself. Do one thing for myself each day. It can be something as small as treating myself to an iced coffee, or as big as making a life change and sticking to it. 

If you follow me on Facebook Mom in the Middle or on Instagram Mom_inthemiddle then you know I have recently taken up Yoga! This was a big step for me… In fact it was Huge! You can read about my first experience ever with Yoga here. To say it has been amazing would be an understatement.

 I realize that in these moments I take for me I need to be intentional. With Yoga I try to sign up ( in advance) for atleast 2, sometimes 3, classes per week. I need to be intentional about carving out and setting aside time for me. And I can’t feel guilty about it. If I don’t take care of me then I can take care of the rest of my people. I love my people and they deserve the best of me, not a tired, worn out, over worked grumpy version of me!  

Today, as a blogger, I had the opportunity to go get a massage- what a treat! That was intentional time that I took for me today and it was glorious! I picked up the phone, I cleared my schedule, arranged childcare, booked the appointment, and I showed up. All intentional. 

The other thing I’ve realized is the more often I take time for me the more I am okay with it. The more often I work on me the more comfortable I become with it. I’m not gonna lie…at first it’s weird and awkward and no matter how hard I tried I felt out of place. It wasn’t easy. I felt out of place without a child clinging to me, it felt unnatural without constantly having to do something for someone else-it felt wrong to put myself first so much so that  experiencing peace and calm felt unnatural. 

The past two weeks have been eye opening. I had allowed myself to get to such a dark place of self neglect that I literally had to claw and fight my way out. 

My journey isn’t over. I’m not sure it ever will be and I’m okay with that. For now I am taking time to work on me. 

   

  

  

It’s time for me.

Its time to start focusing on me. The mom in me can’t believe I just uttered that phrase. How selfish! The other parts of me know how badly this is needed. 

For so long I have put myself, my needs, and my health on the back burner. The way back burner. Today that stopped.

Last week hubby could see and sense my anxiety rising to the highest level it’s probably ever.been. So he did what any good husband would do for fear of having to commit his 30 year old wife to the psych ward. He told me that I needed to go out do something for me. He would cover the kids, find a sitter, cook dinner, arrange baseball practice- whatever it took. And he was dead serious.  So, who am I not to take such a kind man up on an offer like that?  I mean that would just be rude at that point ūüôā

Hesitantly I did throw one idea out there. Something I have been thinking about for months now but with our crazy hectic schedules, and budget, I haven’t even been able to think out the logistics of it so there was no way I would have been able to bring it up during dinner conversations! My desire? Yoga. 

So today a very nervous, very anxious, and highly inexperienced momma stepped foot into a yoga studio for the first time EVER. The experience I had was the complete opposite of everything I expected. 

I expected to feel overwhelmed. 

I expected to feel out of place. 

I expected to feel so nervous and anxious before class started that I might not have the guts to go in and take the class and I would end up sitting in my car for an hour and a half instead.   

But you know what? NONE of that happened. Not a single bit of it. Everything I feared was going to happen never did. In fact nothing even remotely close to any of the crazy scenariois I created happened.

Instead I walked into a room with bright smiling faces, open arms, and and this amazing love for life I didn’t know possible. As soon as I told them I had never done yoga before- like not even an at home DVD- I thought for sure the poor instructor was going to have to re-do her entire class structure… But instead she gave me a high five and told me that made her SO excited to teach this class. That I was her GIFT today! What?! Me, a gift?? Maybe a big old unconfident ball of insecurity, anxiety, and guilt but I certainly wasn’t a gift. 

So I entered the classroom, I rolled my mat, and grabbed a block- for what? At that point I had NO clue but everyone else had one so I figured I’d better follow suit. At this point I figured my best strategy for making it through his class was to just blend in. I’m the hang in the back of the room and keep a low profile kind of chic. 

A few moments later the instructor walked in, introduced herself and very gracefully announced to the class that there was a gift among us today, today there was someone  that here was a newbie… Though she never directly pointed me out which I though was super gracious of her, she did ask her student to remember their first class. The emotions they felt, the incompetence they may have felt, and that isfthere was one thing she could say to herself back then it was be “to not take it so serious, to be silly, to not worry about what she looked like during class because others would be so worried about their forms that they weren’t even looking at her.” WOW!! talk about a great confidence booster.  That also meant I could still try my tactic of blending in! 

Being as I had a seat in the very back of the room I was able to look to most of the other yogi’s to see what moves correlated with the words she was speaking. I’m still unsure the language or even the words the instructor was using. But what I can tell you is how glorious it felt to even attempt these moves. 

To know that I was the one in control of my body. 

To know that I had the ability to make my body move and turn in whatever way I wanted was so freeing- and then when I was able to accomplish such moves it felt like I had just climes Mt. Everest!!! Talk about empowering. 

To know that my breathing was claiming and relaxing me.

There was one point during the class where our instructor asked us to do a move and as she did she made her way closer to me and I thought for surely I can’t do this one. She gently reminded me that “I can’t” doesn’t exist here… So I was going to try and she was more than willing to help me and while it wasn’t the most graceful of Crow poses and there was definitely some staggering and then falling atleast I tried. Do you know how long it’s been since this momma has even TRIED to do something I was more than certain I would fail at? Honestly I couldn’t even tell you when because my thought process these days gets me to the point of “why try if you are just going to make a fool of yourself, or if you aren’t going to be able to do it perfectly or at all than you shouldn’t even attemp said task at hand.” Yup that’s pretty much my inner monologue these past few months. 

My next challenge came when it was time to work on our bridges, or wheels in Yogi language. I know them as back bends. Now let me tell you something… In highschool and as long as I can remember i have alway been super flexible. I was a cheerleader, and all star tumbler since about the 7th grade! 13 years after high school graduation things ( including my body have changed. I don’t think I have done one back bend since 2003. Add into that having  3 children where the most movements of stretching and bending come from moving up and down to clean up after said children. So the instructor announces that we are going to go into a wheel pose. As soon as I look around at what the others students are doing I immediately lay back down on my mat and think to myself never gonna happen- NEVER! However out of the corner of my eye the instructor and I make eye contact and she slowly starts to wonder over to my mat where I begin to giggle. Again I say to her I can’t to which she says yes you can, grab my ankles. So I grabbed her ankles and before I knew it bam! I was in wheel pose!!! What?! Who was I at that moment? If I had to choose one moment for me during this class where my heart nearly exploded with love, with calm, with peace, gratitude, and growth THAT was certainly MY moment.

The last part of class they turn down the lights and turn on the fans- thank goodness because at that point it had become VERY hot in the room. So lights off, fans on and this is where there is a lot of relaxation, breathing, stretching, and reflection happening. For me it may have been the best and most needed part of the entire class. Time alone just for me. Absolutely NO noise, no chatter, no TV, no FB, no IG , not texting, and surprisingly I wasn’t making a mental shopping list, or list of back to school supplies. None of that. I was listening to my breathing, I was focusing on my center, and I was allowing myself to actualy feel this moment. I probably haven’t “felt” a moment since before my Uncle was diagnosed in January. 

I remember laying on the mat for the very few last minutes with tears rolling down my face. This class was so emotional for me. 

It gave me back the ability to breakdown emotions I have been feeling, but haven’t been able to process.  

It gave me the ability to feel centered  and free and relaxed rather than a jumbled, mixed up, tense ball of emotions…and THAT was something I didn’t expect at all to gain from it.  Atleast not from just one class. But Lord my body, mind, and spirit needed it! 

When class ended I went to the welcome room to retrieve my belongings and lingered a little to talk to the instructor. To praise her for her kind words and gracious instructing.  But then something happened. When I opened my mouth nothing came out. No words formed. The one things that formed were tears in my eyes. 

Tears that represented the months and years of pushing my thoughts and emotions to the bottom of the list. Of pushing me to the bottom of the list.

Tears that represented me trying and accomplishing things I never knew were possible for my body to do. Of working on me.

Tears that are helping to heal my heart and soul after the recent loss of my Uncle John. 

Tears that represented me finally accepting the fact that saying “I don’t know” is okay. We don’t have to have all the answers, we don’t have to do it all and that is OK.  That’s not our job.  

So I immediately went to the front desk after cleaninging myself up, and catching my breathe after my semi-ugly cry with this yoga instructor I  had literally just met an hour ago and signed myself up for a 30 day membership!! 

And as corny as this may sound I am STILL wearing the smile that class gave me this morning. And I cannot wait to go back for more! And I haven’t felt stress, anxiety, or the weight of the world on my shoulder at all today-nor did I loose my cool at any point of my day with our kids, our friends, or our family.  Not once!!

It’s time for me.
~Namaste Erica 

   
 

On Hope, Faith, and Miracles.

Illness has hit our family.

Knock you to your knees, take away your breath, illness.

My world has been rocked to its core.

Life will never be the same. For me. For them. For any of us.

Not after an experience like this.

To see people you only knew to be strong show weakness, changes you.

To see those you love hurting, and in pain, changes you.

To see someone you only ever knew as invincible not being that way, changes you.

To see someone who did all the taking care of  now the one being taken care of, changes you.

To see someone who did all of the providing now being provided for, changes you.

So if you’ve been wondering where I have been…

I have been in the muck of it all.

I have been trying to sort out the why’s, the wheres, and that what if’s.

I’ve been taking the good with the bad, and the bad with the really, really bad.

I’ve been going through my day to day life with tear filled eyes.

Eyes welled up with hot tears.

And the tears. Oh the tears.

They just come.

Whether I want them to, or not.

How ironic that it takes such a serious circumstance to make you really appreciate your loved ones.

We go through our lives expecting everyone to be here with us tomorrow, and the next day, and the next.

Sometimes that doesn’t happen.

Sometimes we get less time with those who really mean something to us, less time than we could have ever imagined.

And its not fair. Not one single bit of it.

What do you do then?

I’ll tell you what I’ve been doing…

I’ve been praying.

I’ve been asking for prayers.

I’ve been hugging those I love a little tighter.

I’ve been making dinners.

I’ve been having long talks.

I’ve been saying I Love You a lot more these days.

I’ve been taking the time to reflect on my life, and the time that I’ve been lucky and blessed enough to spend with these incredible people.

I’ve been sharing with others, things I never thought I would be able to share.

I’ve opened up a piece of my life I haven’t opened up for 30 years.

I’ve let the tiniest bit of light shine on some of the darkest parts of my life.

I’ve been telling myself, “The Lord’s will be done.”

And oh how I hope and pray that His will is to give me just the tiniest bit more time with those I love.

But for now only time will tell.

Time and testing.

Clear scans, clear testing.

One mountain at a time, one battle at a time.

When one battle is won, onto the next, and the next, and the next.

We will fight, and we will battle for as long as it takes.

If there is one thing I know about my family…

We are fighters. We are strong. We are not going to lie down and succumb.

We will fight. We are overcomer’s. We stay in the fight until the final round.

And that is what we are going to do

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10 things I hope to do differently for ME in 2015

As I reflect back on the past year there are a few things I am looking forward to having a fresh start with in 2015.This is a list for me. This isn’t a list for our family, or for my marriage. It is just a list of what I wish to work on for me this coming year.

So here’s my list of what I hope to do differently for ME in 2015…

1. Disconnect-I have already begun this process to quiet the noise. ¬†For me this has to come in baby steps. From the first days when AIM instant messenger connected I remember sitting in front of a computer for hours at a time and just typing, typing, typing away. Back then that was the only form of online communication that was prevalent. Nowadays it is literally all around us. We have access to it 24/7. ¬†I run this blog, and have a successful skin care business ran mostly online and through social media. ¬† These days I am realizing it is super important to put away the screen, the phone, the device and just be present. To live in the moment. ¬†So for me, this change is all about finding a happy medium {is that even a thing?!} For now I have chosen to “hide” my social media apps on my phone so it is just a little bit harder for me to easily access them, or at the very least look down and see all of the notifications piling up and feeling the tug to check them right.now! Remember…baby steps!

2. Separate work & home– This is probably one of my biggest struggles. ¬†If you aren’t already aware I run a successful skin care side business¬†in addition to my 9-5 job!¬† For months now I have been wanting to set concrete work hours for this fun side job of mine. ¬†Already having a full time job, and a family at home, I need to keep my sanity intact as much as possible. Having strict, and seperate business hours for my skin care business will allow me the flexibility, and freedom to enjoy all areas of my life to the fullest. Plus, if I am trying to return emails and place orders for clients while wrangling a 4 year old who is in the middle of his melt down the likelihood of error on either end is pretty high! So from here on I want to be full committed to each task I tackle and go at it 100%.

3. House Rules– I’m not sure why it took me so long to implement this idea, but after discussing the idea with “Mr. Mom in the Middle” we have decided that having a set of house rules will be good for our home. Just like our kids have rules for their classroom that they take part in thinking about and coming up with we are going to do the same for our house. We will sit down as a family of 5 and compile everyone’s idea’s on one list. I will then have that list blown up, printed and framed to hang in and around our house. My hope in all of this is to kill the chaos.

4. To give more Grace-to others as well as myself…this my friends is not easy. You know the saying we are our own worst critics? Well say hello to the worlds worst critic with a sprinkle of perfectionist! ¬†After going through this past year I realized that while I need to take care of our house and all that comes with it, and my family I also need to take care of myself. ¬†This is not such an easy pill to swallow for a self sufficient, fully independent momma like me. ¬†I want to extend grace more to those around me as well as myself. I want to have more patience, kindness, understanding, and compassion. ¬† I also want to learn to “let it go” I am the type of person who can and will replay something someone has said to me 50 times in my head. A few months ago someone said to me, “Nobody can make you feel a certain way, only you can let them make you feel a certain way” and I thought to myself how true! Why should I allow someone to rent space in my head and cause so much toxicity? So this my friends is something I am constantly, and on a daily basis, working through and on.

5. To not focus on the numbers-this is something I have focused on for far.too.long! It also has a lot to do with disconnecting. Can I tell you how sick I am of posting something only to go back minutes later and see how many likes it has received? Which then in turn either leaves me filling empty or incredibly fulfilled? Say WHAT?! Since when did others opinions, or time, or likes justify who I am, what I stand for, and what I do. So my hopes in disconnecting from Social Media more frequently are that I will not base my feelings, success, and production on numbers from others.

6. To post reminders of Who I Am. It’s no surprise that I am a Christian women and that I openly talk about it. I feel like there are days where I need to live it more. It’s one thing to talk about something-it is a whole different thing to actually do something about it. Actions speak louder than words. ¬†I am hoping to start this by finding a really great bible study and diving in head first. ¬†Also, I am going to start writing down bible verses that speak to me and handing them on the fridge, leaving them in my purse, the car, etc. These are not to be “showy” or to be used as “proof”, but rather they are for accountability and reminding. Lord knows I need reminding during the day. My hope is that I can avoid those messy mommy/wife moments that happen by stopping, reading, breathing, remembering, and moving on.

7. To begin getting out of debt– notice I didn’t say get out of debt completely. I know it’s just not possible. I know it’s going to be a long, uphill battle. I know it’s not going to be easy, but I also know how worth it it is going to be when I don’t have the weight of this weighing me down- literally! These days so many college students are burdened with student loan debt. I am no different. So I want to put myself on the path that allows me to start paying down my debt as quickly as possible. I am in the process of scheduling an appointment for hubby and I with a financial adviser and I am hoping this along with our zero budget will allow for us to begin a program to start paying down my/our debt.

8. To take better care of my health– shhhh! I will let you all in on a little secret this year….¬†I am turning 30 this year ūüė¶ This is my year for vitamins, oils, and anything healthy. ¬†Exercise, working out, shakes, whatever it takes to get me feeling my best I am willing to give a try! I am already back into my T25 workouts. ¬†I would love to get into some great meditation/yoga for the soul workouts…if you have any suggestions please let me know!

9. To go to Influence Conference-I know, I know this is a pretty specific one. This is a spiritual conference that for the past 3 years I have only dreamt of going to. Each year I have watched from afar as others have been led by fearless women to their greatest spiritual place. A safe place, a place of growth, a place with no judgement, a place of all consuming and uplifting goodness, a place of community. At this moment, I can’t even wrap my mind around how it would be possible for me, logistically, to even think about going-not to mention the cost. So, for the first time I am going to pray, pray, pray that I somehow, someway make it there.

10. Read more– I have a ton of books saved in my amazon favorites. Books that I hope to one day read. That I plan to read one day. Reading always has been a passion of mine, and much like many other hobbies of mine have fallen to the wayside of life! This is the year I hope to read more books, to unplug from reality, my phone, the laptop, everything and simply immerse myself in literature.

What do you hope to do differently in 2015? I would love to hear!

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Skincare

I cannot believe today is the last day of 2014! Honestly I think this year flew by faster than any other! 2014 was an incredible year for my skin and my wallet thanks to my hugely successful business! There is no better time to start taking care of your skin than now. I would love to tell you more about our products and get you set up with skincare that you love! Our products have a 60 day money back guarantee, so if you get them and aren’t pleased‚Ķthen send everything back for 100% of your money back!

We have products for every skin type… fine lines, wrinkles, scarring, acne, post acne marks, dullness, redness, irritation, sunspots, brown spots, pigmentation, large pores, blackheads, melasma-you name it we have it!

The first THREE people to sign up as a Preferred Customer TODAY will qualify for my biggest deal of 2014! Shoot me an email and I’ll fill you in! e.acosta4 {at} comcast {dot} net.

Happy New Year!

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Goodbye 2014…Hello 2015!

Goodbye 2014… Hello 2015!! One of the most important things I learned looking back over the past year is that you can never buy back yesterday, you can only fully maximize today and tomorrow. We need to start living lives of urgency and stop living in the past. Yesterday is old. Today is new. Today is bright. Today is the beginning of your future. How we live our lives is how we lead our lives. In our homes, at our workplaces, and with our friends and family. Too often we are afraid to go outside of our comfort zones. Or we make excuse after excuse as to why now isn’t a great time, or the money isn’t there, or we don’t want to try something new! With 2015 around the corner let’s make a promise to be the exception not the excuse! Do whatever it takes- where there is a will there is a way! It’s time to make the conscious decision to find the will to find the way to get out of where we are and move onward and upward! Thank you everyone who helped make 2014 a year to remember and I cannot wait to see all the love, power, adventure, and friendships that are to come in 2015! The best is yet to come!

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On Having Hope

We have officially been on a budget for about 3 months now and let me tell you it is hard.

Really, really hard.

I recently wrote about the lifestyle change we have made by going on a budget.

In fact, we are on a zero dollar budget which simply put means that there is no extra. Whatsoever.

Every.single.penny is accounted for.

It either goes to a bill, or savings, or to paying off debt.

This is a really, really hard change for me.

Every single day now revolves around calculations.

If I spend an extra $20 on gas this week, I will have to omit something from another budget…what can we do without this week? Or how can I stretch the extra two pounds of chicken into a meal our entire family will eat for the next 2 days?

Life hasn’t always been this way. ¬†This is something new.

The past 10 years hasn’t always been this way.

We haven’t always made the brightest decisions when it comes to finances. Then again, we haven’t always had the chance to make the best choices. You see when you grow up poor, the second you get any kind of money this feeling comes over you as though you have to spend that money right now or else a bill, or a collector, or something will come along to take that money from you. Before that happens you need to spend it. The heck with well thought out decisions…

Let me take it back to the beginning for you.

I grew up poor. My family was so broke it wasn’t even funny.

I started working at 14 just to buy my own clothes and any spending money I ever needed.

My parents didn’t have much to give us-thankfully we had family who were always willing to step up making sure we never did without.

I was always the kid passing ¬†in the hand written reports while everyone else’s were typed, and double spaced, and neatly printed off their home computer.

I was the child who had web tv because we couldn’t afford a real PC, and years later when we did get our first PC ( I was a ¬†Senior in high school) it was a rickety hand me down PC from my family members.

So needless to say I grew up with a lot less than most.

I moved out at 17.

It was a personal decision, and really for the best. ¬†I didn’t always have the best relationship with my mother and rather than be threatened to be kicked out, or be charged rent by her, I made the conscious decision to become an adult and move out.

That’s right. While most teenagers were filling out college applications and discussing Senior prom, I was shacked up with my high school boyfriend in our apartment together.

I was determined to go to college and I can remember having a conversation with my parents where I thought there was a magical hidden savings account that had accrued interest over the years so they could send me to college. Ha! They looked right at me and told me they couldn’t help me with anything because they still had my 2 and 4 year old brother and sister to care for. So I began scraping up the $50 for each college application I was submitting.

Because of my childhood I always promised to give my children the best.

Today, we live modestly.

Both by choice and by necessity.

We have a small, two bedroom townhouse for 5 people.

My husband and I don’t have the newest clothing, electronics, and we certainly don’t have fancy expensive date nights.

I was recently part of an online discussion that asked how often do you buy a new bra? My answer? 2 years ago.

We don’t exchange birthday, Christmas, or any other holiday gifts.

Any extra always goes to our children.

They do have the best.

The best clothing, the best shoes, the best accessories, and they attend the best preschool.

Having said that I will never be one that is too good for hand me downs nor¬†am I ¬†one to pass up a good thrift shop find…I do love discounts and sales as much as ever-for our entire family!

Still I want more.

I want a house, with a yard, and a driveway.

I want to be able to host family gatherings and not have people be on top of one another.

Right now though I know that is not a possibility.

Some days, most days, I feel guilty for wanting more-more selfish thoughts that flood my mind on a daily basis.

As though what we have right now isn’t enough…but I know it is.

At this point in our lives, this is what we can handle. This is what we have been given.

So for now we keep trimming, we keeping saving, we keep paying off debt so that one day we can have all of that.

And that day my friends will make all of this mess worth it!

 hope

An Update

Life has been crazy.

I feel like I start the majority of my posts that way-but the truth is life is CRAZY-with 3 kids (and all boys) there is really no other way to describe it.

I cannot believe Christmas is almost here…I feel like I am FINALLY just recovering from Back to school-anyone else?

Time is flying by, and I certainly cannot get a handle on it.

Our youngest turned 4.  FOUR!

How did that happen?

Our boys are now officially 4, 6, and 8…

We’ve celebrated birthdays, Thanksgiving, attended a wedding (which our big 4 year old was in), and have really been spending A LOT of time together as a family.

Hubby got that promotion at work he had been busting his back for and while I am so, so thankful and thrilled I must admit it is a little bit scary.

While it finally feels like we are “real” adults with two “real” incomes and that is what we have been working so ¬†incredibly hard for these past few years-I must admit this new lifestyle comes with its own challenges.

I posted a few weeks ago about meal planning and putting our family on a budget.

Its been great. Don’t get me wrong-its been very, very hard and challenging, but great all at the same time.

And if there’s one thing I am always up for-its a challenge!

Our family’s lifestyle has been completely changed. Like turned upside down, shaken, and then turned right side up again.

I like to think of myself as more of a “modern day” housewife where I prefer my house to be cleaned for me, and my meals to be ordered for me, or at the very least picked up by me.

Our new lifestyle means I now do the cooking and cleaning-every.single.night

Its funny because all of those years my husband and I spent bartending we really had a disposable income-and didn’t even know it!

 One where if we needed extra cash we just picked up an extra shift.

Or sometimes we had a really, really busy night at work-one that would allow us to make up for a slower night and then some.

Now we have one set income coming in and going out and that is it. No extras.

So, to say it is taking some getting used to is definitely a good way to put it.

Its great, it really is and trust me it comes with A LOT more stability than the ebbs and flows that come along with being a bartender-not to mention the great benefits we now have thanks to his promotion.

We are still getting our feet wet, and trying out different budgets to see what works best for our family.

Some days are great and out of this world, and some days I am thankful that tomorrow means a new day and a fresh start.

What has been going on in your life lately?

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