40 Days: Week 4

This weeks theme centered around restoration. Our meditation increased to 20 minutes in the evening and morning, and it also included a 3 day fruit cleanse.  

Our laws were:
Law 7: Relax with what is

Law 8: Remove the rocks

My rock was people pleasing. For me, I wanted to see what possibilities were available when I dropped my need for people pleasing, for acceptance, for my need to be included and liked by all. And what I found was that when I let go of the need to people please and to have everyone like me and to be agreeable I opened the possibility for a life of authenticity. The real, true me. The happy, the light, the joyful me. The unedited me. I experienced genuine carefree happiness and laughter this week. 

The 3 day juice cleanse was interesting. Truthfully I did not enjoy it whatsoever while I was going through it, however I did take a lot from it. For me by the second day my stomach was so sour from all the sweet fruit I wanted to stop- I did have some regular dinner that night- but made sure to hop right back on the wagon the next morning. And completely unexpectedly by the end of the third and final day I felt a huge shift. The fruit cleanse didn’t just make me want to get rid of the toxins inside of my body but it propelled me to take a larger look at my life to see what other toxins I could cleanse from my life. It came to me clear as day. Combining my need to cleanse as much toxicity from my life as possible, along with removing the rock of people pleasing I decided to make the bold move to delete the Facebook app from my phone. Deleting this app not only removed all of the stress and bad feelings I experienced from reading other people’s status’s and getting distracted by their drama, but even more than that it removed my rock of people pleasing. In the couple of days that have passed since I got rid of the app I realized that I was also using FB to engage in people pleasing without even realizing it! I was looking for praise, I was looking for approval, sometimes I was posting something just to post something- just to fill in the gaps. I was measuring my worth by the number of likes, or comments I received. So I deleted it and will only be accessing it from my computer. It may last a week, it may last a month, or it may last a year- who knows. This has also freed me up immensely. The first thing I used to do when I woke up was check FB. On the weekends I would waste 30 minutes, easily, scrolling through my newsfeed, for what? A picture perfect look into someone else’s life? Comparison? Emptiness? Likes? Since deleting the app I have already felt like a weight has been lifted. Rather than constantly being attached to my phone, and carefully monitor and count my notifications I could care less. And that has allowed me to be authentically present in my life. That has allowed me to create space in my life. That has allowed me to welcome the presence of possibility and for me in this season that is what this life is all about!