I am officially 1 week into the new year and embracing life with the word JOY. I am learning how to “be” joyful. So far my experience has been this: incredibly life giving!! One week of living life with a completely different outlook, on life and on people, and I have had a huge shift. Before this week I didn’t feel too much of a connection with people, was consumed with self doubt, fear, anxiety and shame.  And while those feeling haven’t completely diseppated they have decreased significantly.  After this week I feel so much lighter, brighter, happier, more open, and way more fulfilled. Perhaps the most eye opening realization is that I have the ability to control how I feel. I have the ability to determine whether or not my day is going to be full of joy, or crummy.  I have the ability to choose joy. Always. I can choose joy the minute I wake up, and I can choose to remember joy at the end  of my day when it is the craziest! I can choose joy to make the little moments count as much as the big ones.

One of the biggest changes I have made this week is choosing joy and genuine happiness for me.  If it makes me happy I go for it. I speak it. I act on it. For me this means living a life that is less filtered- not dwelling on what others think of my opinions, but rather speaking my mind. I have given credit to my opinions and outlooks. I have grown my self respect. I have grown my self compassion, and self empathy. I have lived the most authentic life I know possible right here in this moment. I’m realizing that by living how I was (filtered, inauthentic, non joyous, unfulfilled, not self respecting, people pleasing) I really wasn’t living at all. I was simply the worlds puppet, just going through the motions that I thought others wanted. Answering with what I thought others wanted to hear. It turned out I wasn’t living for me. I was living for other people. I was so consumed by people pleasing that I somehow lost the true meaning of life, and myself. And you know what? It was exhausting, and incredibly sad. I lost who I was. The good news is 1 week into the New Year and I am slowly starting to find my way back to the true me. Or I could say the new me. One minute, one hour, one day at a time.

I’m not gonna lie… This week hasn’t been the most comfortable, week of my life. In fact I experienced a lot of uncomfortable.
But I am realizing that…

 
Uncomfortable leads to growth.

Uncomfortable leads to connection.

Uncomfortable leads to authenticity.

Uncomfortable is SO worth it!

 
For the first time, probably ever, I am listening to my body. I am listening to what my body wants and needs. It’s likes and dislikes. And truly giving it what it needs. Rest. Peace. Nourishment. Laughter. Release. Stretching. Meditation. Connection. Stability. And it feels absolutely amazing!

This week I tried new things. I totally went out of my comfort zone, and challenged myself by doing a handstand workshop at my yoga studio with a friend. Yes, me-a handstand work shop. The mother of three who doesn’t even remember what it means to “activate your core”… And who quite frankly didn’t even realize I still had a core!! But I did it. I put myself out there and I GREW! I felt vulnerable, uncomfortable, fearful, and sure I wouldn’t be successful. And guess what?! thanks to an amazing leader, and an incredible workshop partner I DID IT!!! Yes I felt silly at times, yes I felt like I was doing it all wrong at times, and yes I wanted to go running out of that room at times. But I didn’t. I pushed myself. I pushed through all of that fear and anxiety and I grew myself. I allowed joy to completely consume me…And I’m still living on the natural high of yesterday’s workshop.

This week I chose joy and happiness. For me. For my body. For my mind. For my soul.  This certainly has been one incredible life giving, joyful week!